So instead of summer classes, I'm going to work a part-time job. One of my roommates works at IHOP here in town and I put in an application to be a server or host. I hope this pans out and I can start this weekend. With the extra money, I plan to save some of it for a motorcycle and use some of it to get my car in better shape (get the smog issues taken care of, registered, and some needed maintenance). I want to save around $4000 for a garden variety 600. I'm going to work out the details tonight in my budget.
On the emotional front, Sean and I are trying a friendship. I admit it will be a test for me to distance myself emotionally concerning the people he dates. We spent last night talking it over and working out the details. I told him that I don't want to know about the guys he sees unless absolutely necessary. I'm still healing from the break up and it would just complicate everything if I knew.
Contradicting what I said above, I met someone that Sean went on a date with. I felt jealous because I'm still possessive about Sean and I had. I'll eventually learn to see it in a different light. I'm cautiously optimistic going forward with this, but I know we make better friends than partners at the time.
I rented a ton of books from the library to help with the stages of a break up. I've been reading online articles as well to help cope with the flood of emotions. Along with the books on how to cope, I also picked up some books about dealing with the loss of a loved one. I think I still have some deep seated issues about the death of my mom. And since I'm single and have all the time I want to myself, why not try to figure out what's really going on.
Well I think that's enough for tonight. I might ride the house bike to Carl's Jr. and pick up a green burrito. Afterwards, I was thinking of hitting the V E Club to shoot some pool. Who knows!
Thanks for reading :D
3 comments:
Hi - You don't know me, but I just happened to come across your blog and wanted to say something. I'm not gay myself, but I know that the break-up of a loving relationship - whether straight or gay - is very difficult to cope with. I'm struggling with it myself at the moment but I've found that such a thing can never be recaptured once it's gone and so a friendship with the other person is the best solution. That way, you still retain a little bit of them. The pain of knowing they have a relationship with someone else is heart-breaking but I guess it has to be accepted - and WILL be accepted eventually. Just remember, you're not alone in your sadness.
Regards,
Brian (Australia)
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